Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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