Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
