Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
