just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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