Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
