so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
the day after is always just damage control
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Less talking, more tequila
you had me at cake vodka
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
