Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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