She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
