We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
