I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
