oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
