we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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