Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
this hospital has no fireball
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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