bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
