pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize