Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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