last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
