Have you finally orgasmed yet?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Randomize
