You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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