I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
