Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
