If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
