Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize