No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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