small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize