her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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