i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
