Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
