I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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