i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
