you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize