I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
