i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
