big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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