what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
foreskin is a definite game changer
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
