dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
