She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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