In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
