what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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