Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
