I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We have started to decorate penises.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
