Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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