East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
