How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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