You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
