When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
