marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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