Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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