Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
