Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
The best revenge is premature balding
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
