You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
