OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
