is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize