Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Can I color on your dick again?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
