3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
This gyro tastes like lonliness
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
