I'd wear matching sweaters with you
another moral hangover. fuck.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
