I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
