It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
