garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
