Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
