Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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