Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
